GUILT: The Origin of ALL Psychological Stress

There was a time ("back in the day") when anchor points were clear and there was little confusion as to direction. There was rarely any consistent guilt that we weren’t doing something we shouldn’t be doing or not doing something we should. We knew who we were and what needed to be done and attended to it with little feeling of tension or stress, other than the physical stresses of overworked muscles (psychological problems existed, but were less likely to be "diagnosed" and did not stigmatize whole personalities).

But in the complex post-modern world we are inundated with technological interactions, estranged/alienated relationships and complicated social roles with obscure expectations, vague value systems and confusing demands. We attend to tasks that are often highly technical and even non-technical roles must still consider the technicalities of a monetarily based existence. Simply maintaining a family and household can be wrought with stress in relation to bills, insurances, utilities, mortgages, loans, payments, retirement, and constantly competing for the best deal.

We tend to slog through our days with an interminable, seemingly unceasing, tension in the solar plexus region, which originates from monotonously anxious cognitive processes (thought patterns) indicating that something is wrong or could go wrong, that we have not done what was needed, that our past was a failure (even though we may have had an equal number of successes), that we have not lived up to expectations (what expectations? we’re not quite sure), we should be doing more (what? we don’t really know for certain), if only this were different and if that had remained the same, etc, etc, etc.

This foreboding sense of guilt seems irrevocably attached to our very existence, often referred to as "existential angst," that seems to symbolize that we are never good enough, never what we should be, never enough of something and always too much of something else. Yet, we know not what ails us and so the guilt cannot be appeased or dissolved, because of its obscurity. It sits deep within the subconscious directing our conscious minds and sending uncomfortable messages throughout the body often resulting in physical symptoms related to chronic stress.

It's not that we have done something bad, it's that we are pervasively and globally bad just by nature of our existing. But the "why" is inaccessible.

Society reinforces this through its definitions of success. In childhood we're taught to experience social success by conforming to certain specific ideals and most revolve around social status through financial accumulation. Even though we have a pervading sense that this is wrong, we feel we must engage with the social currents nonetheless or we might get pulled under and drown.

Often this constant tension is appeased or dulled through distractions, such as innumerable forms of mindless entertainment (Facebook!). Some employ chemicals/drugs/medications to numb the guilt, but this is always attended to by an aftermath of more guilt associated with our "weakness." Some attempt to simplify their lives, get out of the “rat race,” get “off the grid” and make significant lifestyles changes. Sometimes changing a job, relationship or geographical residence helps for a time, as we are enlivened by the novelty of the new. But eventually, deep-seated unrealized and socially conditioned guilt slowly percolates back into the cranial system (and not everyone has the resources or the capacity to make such significant life changes).

Guilt is the result of pervasive self-rejection and it is the origin of all psycho-emotional disturbances. Shame is what we feel when we interpret society’s rejection. Guilt is nothing more than our own constant personal rejection. Our complete dissatisfaction with who and what we are or have become. But this happens on a subconscious level (the level of thought that runs in the background, outside conscious awareness) and we rarely question the thoughts that perpetuate the chronic tension/anxiety. If this is left to the subconscious it becomes automatic and you eventually lose the ability to identify specific thoughts that perpetuate your self-rejection and guilt. You then live on autopilot.

Increase awareness of the aspects of your self-rejection that leads to chronic guilt or that feeling of never being ‘good enough' can result in a progressive sense of deep and persistent depression. Learn to balance chronic self-rejection with constant self-affirmation based on the reality of your situation and not distorted beliefs based on childhood social conditioning and past trauma.